LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE!
HERE'S A GOOD DOSE:
Farmer’s Last Will
I leave:
To my wife-My overdrafts at the bank. Maybe she can explain them.
To my son-Equity in my car. Now he’ll have to work to meet the payments.
To my banker-My soul. He’s got the mortgage on it anyway.
To my neighbor-My clown suit. He’ll need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past.
To FmHA-My unpaid bills. They took some real chances on me and I want to leave something for them.
To ASCS-My grain bin. I was planning to let them have it next year anyhow.
To the farm advisor-50 bushels of corn to see if he can hit the high market after years of telling me why I never did.
To the SCS people-My farm plan. Maybe they can understand it.
To the junk dealer-My machinery. He’s had his eyes on it for years.
To my undertaker-A special request: Six implement and fertilizer dealers for pallbearers, please-they’ve all been carrying me for years.
To the weatherman-Rain, sleet and snow for the funeral. No sense in having nice weather now.
To the grave digger-Don’t bother. The hole I’ve dug for myself over the years should be enough, thank you.
CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS:
"The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours ."
"The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus."
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands."
